I can get you what you want at the market
As long as you have the price
The colonel is the governor
He steals from his own supplies
The jailhouse is full of small fry
Who never did much wrong
All the big fish swam away
All long gone

All long gone, all long gone
All long gone, all long
All long gone

Well I can get you what you want at the
market
Everybody’s on the make
The colonel is the governor
And he’s on a slice of the cake
And everyone in this occupied land
Is on the game
And over here in contraband
It’s the same

We’re all long gone, all long gone
All long gone, we’re all long
All long gone

Chief cook and bottle washer
That’s me, I’m the man
So many people to see
In contraband
Chief cook and bottle washer
That’s me, I’m the man
What do you do? What do you do?
You do what you can

But we’re all long gone, all long gone
We’re all long gone, we’re all long
All long gone
There’ll be rain behind the wind
Last night it was cold
And when it all caves in
I’ll tell them
I only did what I was told

We’re a badass band
From the kick ass south
Pizza goin’ down the sofa
A rockin’ little band
Got a record out
And buddy it’s a hit all over
We’re a badass band
From the kick ass south
Cornchips in the shagpile
We’re a’ gonna punch
One another in the mouth
They’re giving us a brand new hairstyle

Get on down, turn ’em all around
Kick ’em in the old cojones
Gotta get on down, turn ’em all around
We’re the Oklahoma Ponies
Get on down, turn ’em all around
Kick ’em in the old cojones
Gotta get on down, turn ’em all around
’Cos we’re the Oklahoma Ponies

Now the badass boys
They’re a’ gonna wanna fight
Like they do in Oklahoma
They got a killer girl
To dress us right
And buddy do I wanna bone her
We’re a badass band
From the kick ass south
Pizza going down the sofa
A rockin’ little band
With a record out
And buddy it’s a hit all over

Get on down, turn ’em all around
Kick ’em in the old cojones
Gotta get on down, turn ’em all around
We’re the Oklahoma Ponies
Get on down, turn ’em all around
Kick’em in the old cojones
Gotta get on down, turn ’em all around
’Cos we’re the Oklahoma Ponies

Everything was in there
That you'd want to see
Corned beef and onions
And true love
Turnips and tinned tomatoes
Parsnips and a few potatoes
A couple extra blessings
From above

Now this here mingle-mangle
Was my best one yet
A big old bad goulash
Worth waiting for
And I'm just about to dip my can
Taste some brotherhood of man
When I get a feeling
That there's a flaw

Who put old pigweed
In the mulligan
Was it you
Who put old pigweed
In the mulligan stew
I close my eyes
For just a minute
What do you do
Who put old pigweed
In the mulligan stew

You won't find self-improvement
Or philosophy
In a dumpster sitting by
The kitchen door
There's plenty leek and humble pie
Ain't too much ham on rye
Sometimes I wonder
What I'm looking for

But a spoonful of forgiveness
Goes a long, long way
And we all should do our best
To get along
Add a pinch of kindness crumbling
To your loving dumpling
Okra for thickening
When something's wrong

But who put old pigweed
In the mulligan
Was it you
Who put old pigweed
In the mulligan stew
I close my eyes
For just a minute
What do you do
Who put old pigweed
In the mulligan stew

Here's one of the two of us
In 1954 don't laugh
I keep all of the pictures
Are you going to take a photograph
Here's something nice for you
A dear old thing came to a show
Last time here we did
An interview on local radio

Make yourself at home my darling
Come on in
Hand me down that jar love
Can I offer you a gin

We're proud to be the oldest
Ugly sisters in variety
There's not the glamour now
You see what happened to society
There's another light bulb gone
They don't all answer to the switch
I don't know how we carry on
And her she couldn't care the bitch

But in a while the old boys
In the band begin to play
And in a while the houselights
And the curtains slide away

And something's going to happen
To make your whole life better
Your whole life better one day
Something's going to happen
To make your whole life better
Your whole life better one day

Now the landlady's all squared away
It's just a temporary deal
I'm afraid tonight it's take-away
You see there is no evening meal
Don't worry dear you shall go to the ball
I think the fairy said
These suitcases have seen it all
From under someone else's bed

You want to smile those tears away
Now don't you cry
You want to know what I say
I say never say die

'Cos something's going to happen
To make your whole life better
Your whole life better one day
Something's going to happen
To make your whole life better
Your whole life better one day

My whistle under the archways
Still echoes down the street
All the way back to Deptford days
Nights down by The Creek
Notes as big as river boats
Still echoing through the clubs
With the horns of the trains
Down the old back lanes
And the lights of the corner pubs

In a taproom lined with mirrors
There’s a man there at the bar
Reminds you of somebody
He says I know who you are
He’s right, I know I could be him
But anyway who is who?
You could be looking at
What he’s looking at
And he’s looking at you

And I’ll be out of this place
And down the road wherever
There but for the grace, etcetera
I’ll see you later but it’s 1979
And I’m picking my way out of here
One song at a time

The slaving ports of plunder
Used to stink to heaven on high
Companions of honour
Always were in short supply
The Bristol ships and Liverpool’s
On every tide they came
The times they may have changed, my friend
Some people stay the same

And I’ll be out of this place
And down the road wherever
There but for the grace, etcetera
I’ll see you later but it’s 1879
And I’m picking my way out of here
One song at a time

A grinning mogul greets the crowd
At Execution Dock
All come to see three mutineers
Turned off at twelve o’clock
The shyster takes a ringside seat
As they’re bringing them from the jail
And twenty thousand tickets
Sold online on premium sale

So if you need to reach me
You can leave word at The Pig
I have no wish to stay around
To watch that Newgate jig
Or any more poor old fakers
Trying to dance in my old shoes
I’ll be gone over the ocean
With the transatlantic blues

And I’ll be out of this place
And down the road wherever
There but for the grace, etcetera
I’ll see you later somewhere down the line
I’ll be picking my way out of here
One song at a time

It’s only rocks and water
Sand and sea and rocks and water
Look around it’s only sand and sea and sky
And yet I’m asking why
If it’s only rocks and water
Then something’s not in order
As if there’s something taking over
And it’s only rocks and water
Sand and sea and rocks and water

In every place I wander
In the hills and in the harbour
It haunts me with the strangest sounds
That fill the air
I hear them everywhere
In every cave and every corner
Something’s getting stronger
I tell myself it doesn’t matter
That it’s only rocks and water
Sand and sea and rocks and water

In every cave and every corner
Oh, something’s getting stronger
I tell myself it doesn’t matter
That it’s only rocks and water
Sand and sea and rocks and water

It's the end of a perfect day
For surfer boys and girls
The sun's dropping down in the bay
And falling off the world
There's a diamond in the sky
Our evening star
In our Shangri-La

Get that fire burning strong
Right here and right now
It's here and then it's gone
There's no secret anyhow
We may never love again
To the music of guitars
In our Shangri-La

Tonight your beauty burns
Into my memory
The wheel of heaven turns
Above us endlessly
This is all the heaven we've got
Right here where we are
In our Shangri-La.

This is all the heaven we've got
Right here where we are
In our Shangri-La